You know why they call them Indians? Because Columbus thought he was in India. They're "Indians" because some white guy got lost...

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An uptight English writer traveling to Crete on a matter of business finds his life changed forever when he meets the gregarious Alexis Zorba...

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I don't know if I started drinking 'cause my wife left me or my wife left me 'cause I started drinking, but f#?% it anyway...

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What's the Czech for "Do you love him"?

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Harold M. Abrahams: If I can't win, I won't run!

Sybil Gordon: If you don't run, you can't win...

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[challenged to say if he considers anything holy]

Henry Drummond: Yes. The individual human mind. In a child's power to master the multiplication table, there is more sanctity than in all your shouted "amens" and "holy holies" and "hosannas." An idea is a greater monument than a cathedral. And the advance of man's knowledge is a greater miracle than all the sticks turned to snakes or the parting of the waters...

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Dr. Threeply: Any questions?

Doc Sportello: [in regards to Puck Beaverton] Is that a swastika on that man's face?

Dr. Threeply: No, it isn't. That's an ancient Hindu symbol meaning "all is well". It brings good fortune, luck and well-being...

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Cheyenne: What do you call yourselves?

Steven: The Pieces of Shit.

Cheyenne: That's a really good choice.

Steven: You're fuckin' right it is, yeah! It took us 6 months to come up with it, besides it's exactly the right name for this moment in history...

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David: What happened?
Luke Peterson: This kid called me a faggot... so I broke a yardstick on his face.
David: Okay. Awesome...

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